#if i'm reading this right the actual price isn't changing

[bestangelofall]

I think both possibilities are interesting regarding what you can do with his character in this AU. World building wise, I love the lack of Daemon for resurrected people, because it leads into the idea of there being a price for the resurrection, and the possible stigma that people who came back to life would face.

Applying this to Jason specifically, would he be seen as less than by Bruce? As soulless? Would a Daemonless Jason be a reason to justify all the victim blaming, to justify all the other things Bruce does after Jason's resurrection? For example, the ending of UtH, or Gotham War, could be put as not being "that bad" because in Bruce's eyes Jason wouldn't be a complete person, and a part of him is forever lost.

I love that idea, but, as per HDM lore, to lose the connection with the Daemon is to lose the soul (at least in the case of the children which were cut), so I prefer the idea that the Daemon also comes back after resurrection. Maybe "come back" isn't even the right word, because when Lyra went to the Land of the Dead in The Amber Spyglass, Pantalaimon was left behind. Of course, Jason stayed dead for months, so maybe in this AU the daemon actually died.

I haven't read The Secret Commonwealth, but I do know that it addresses the aftermath of Lyra and Pan's separation, and that is that things between them aren't the same anymore, and they never will be. Of course, in Lyra's case, she willingly left Pan behind, which would be very different from Jason being murdered, but dying would still be a sudden and violent change, so I think that the same irreversibility would be reasonable here.

If Jason's death was wrong to be corrected (by Superboy Prime), it would make sense that his Daemon would be left behind while Jason went to the Land of the Dead.

Here we can have the option of continued separation after Jason crawls out of his grave, and that it contributes to his catatonic state, and maybe the Lazarus Pit has a role in helping with that (maybe it "reconnects" the bond, but not even the Pit can heal it totally, and there will always be a scar 🤔). I'm not so sure on this part, but it's an idea...

Anyway, Jason and his Daemon start early on not really feeling that separation as much as one would initially assume. They are both very motivated by the same goals, they both love Bruce very much but need to see proof of reciprocation, and most importantly, they both understand that what happened wasn't their fault.

However, as the time passes, and as other people treat Jason the way they do (and now I lean more into Rebirth Sad Jason) that disconnect that results from the separation during his death starts to show. The Daemon stands her ground, being the part of Jason that remains sure that they were good, that they didn't deserve what happened, and that it wasn't their fault - they were tricked by Sheila (and her Daemon) and still tried their best to save them.

Jason, however, after having been told time and again by Bruce & others that he screwed up, started to believe that, because if it was his/their fault, then all he needs to do is to be better, it's not something out of his control. It hurts less. And because of this subject, the discord between him and his Daemon is born and intensifies, and things get ugly. Rebirth Jason has the self-esteem of a wet paper bag, and fights with his Daemon constantly because she wants to impose boundaries to others, while he sees her as an obstacle for reconciliation with Bruce/Dick/maybe Babs/Alfred (btw, his Daemon fucking hates Alfred).

We see in HDM Mrs. Coulter acting on her self-hatred in the form of Daemon abuse which constitutes self-harm. I think Jason would do that too :/

I probably could talk more about this, but this is already a wall of text.

So like in a Daemon au do you think Jason's Daemon would be resurrected with him or do you think you can tell if someone has been resurrected by their lack of Daemon

[genshin-impact-updates]

Notice of Price & Display Adjustment in the U.S. for Certain Platforms

Dear Traveler,

In accordance with US market policies, we will be updating the price display of purchasing items related to game and cloud services on the official website's Top-Up Center and PC (including Genshin Impact · Cloud) in the United States on June 3, 2024 00:00 (UTC-4). The item purchase page for U.S. Travelers will then display the base price of the item, as well as the associated taxes and fees.

In the United States, tax collection regulations stipulate that consumers will be charged a certain percentage of sales tax on purchased items, depending on the state or region where you are located. If you would like more information about taxes and fees, please check your local tax regulations or consult your local tax authorities.

If you would like more help, you can contact Customer Service for assistance. The feedback method is as follows: You can send us feedback via the in-game Paimon Menu > Feedback > Send Feedback or contact our Customer Service via: genshin_payment@hoyoverse.com

[xavigav]

The Reddit Blackout, #196, And Being New to Tumblr

okay i've seen a lot of people in the past ~24 hours or so confused by everything going on with Reddit & Tumblr from both sides - people new to tumblr who don't know how to use it, and tumblr users who don't know what's going on with reddit and why many of its users have joined up here i know this isn't really related to my blog but fun fact about me: i was up until recently a very active reddit user and even mod a subreddit, but I've also been on tumblr for about 3 years now on different accounts, so I think I can see pretty well from both sides of this and explain what's going on this post will be split in 2 sections: what happened with reddit (and what #196 means), and a guide for new users

1. What The Hell Is Going On With Reddit?

The thing that's caused all this ruckus is a major change to Reddit's API, which is what Reddit provides to people so they can pull directly from Reddit to make third-party apps or tools.

The change is that Reddit is changing its previously free API to be paid. Which on its own kinda sucks for developers, but it's not unexpected. They need to make money somehow, right?

The problem is that the API pricing is WAY TOO FUCKING EXPENSIVE. The developer of the most popular 3rd party Reddit app, Apollo, says it will cost him $20 million a year to continue running the app as normal.

Essentially, this pricing forces almost everything third-party to shut down, which causes 3 major problems:

Third-party apps cannot keep running, which sucks for normal users because Reddit's official app is awful. It's slow, its video player is a thing of nightmares, it doesn't have many useful features third-party developers have made.

It sucks even more for visually impaired users because they can't use the official Reddit app at all. Reddit's official app does not work with iOS's native text-to-speech function. Third party apps, on the other hand, often do. So Reddit is forcing blind users away.

Third-party moderator tools cannot keep running, which sucks for moderators because many rely on these tools to properly moderate their subreddits. And moderators are often necessary, because without them subreddits get banned and hate speech and even CSA can often run rampant.

So you see why this change is bad.

Reddit users were PISSED.

So over the past week and a half or so, they have been working on organizing a site-wide blackout. The majority of the most active subreddits have now gone private. Some are only doing it for 48 hours, others (such as r/196) are doing it indefinitely.

That's why you can't access most of Reddit right now, and that's why many users have come here.

You're probably still wondering, though - what is this #196?

Well, as you may guess, it's connected to that subreddit r/196 I just mentioned. r/196 is a subreddit which only has one rule: every time you visit, you must post before you leave.

That's it, that's the subreddit.

The thing about r/196 that set it apart from most other subreddits - and what lends the subreddit's users perfectly to Tumblr - is that it was dominated by queer and leftist users.

So now they've come here and set up shop in #196 and r/196 so they can continue their merry little shitposting.

There's a ton of lore related to r/196, actually, but this is already a long tumblr post and quite frankly I cannot be bothered to write about it at the moment.

2. I'm Here From Reddit, What Now?

Hello there, random new user. As a double-citizen of Reddit and Tumblr, let me show you around this place.

First off, there are some other people who are better at explaining that I am who have made some really helpful things. Watch this Strange Aeons video as a guide to Tumblr culture and functionality and read this post which directly compares Reddit and Tumblr.

Assuming you've done that, here's some additional advice of my own:

Do you miss sorting subreddits by top of all time/the year/the month? Well, you can do something very similar with tags! If you go to a tag at the top of the screen you can select top, and then at the dropdown that says "all time" you can select different time periods! Even 6 months, which Reddit hasn't ever had.

Tumblr has a lot of cool customization features! Even outside your icon/banner/bio, you can change you blog colors and on desktop you can have an html theme (which has its own thriving community here). That customization is part of what sets Tumblr apart from everywhere else - I think you'll enjoy playing with it.

Notes will probably confuse you at first. Unlike the different numbers for upvotes and comments, notes combines the total number of likes, reblogs, and replies into the same number.

Outside of organizing your own blog, when making your own posts tags are what help other people find your post. Use them! But don't abuse them, because then people will just block you.

There are three ways of people finding your post: if someone follows you, if someone follows the tag(s) assigned to your post, and if someone is just scrolling through the tag(s) assigned to your post (and also the secret 4th way no one uses, which is finding it on the trending page, but even if people did use it no one will find your post initially that way)

tumblr is no longer The Discourse Website. And unlike what Reddit wants you to believe for some reason, it is very much alive still. Most of the people seeking fights have moved to Twitter (though some have also moved back here again). You will not get any brownie points for being a dipshit like you do on some subreddits.

So there, welcome to the hellsite (affectionate), you'll pick up on all the in-jokes eventually, for now just try not to be a nuisance and soon enough this'll be your new internet home.

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

Screaming and crying rn also, because right after I sent in that ask, I went to go and read protector 2 and, dear writer of mine, how are you so amazing at writing Simon Shhsbsjsbsjbs actually combusting rn, love your work sm.

but! To my actual ask! so, this is another self indulgent one.

Ok, a lot of times, when I really laugh, like, actually mean it, I snort. And I’m really insecure about it, cause alot of people make jokes about it, or make fun of it. Like “you sound like a pig” kinda stuff.

So, I was wondering if I could get price, Simon, König, and Alejandro with an S/O who snorts when they laugh, and they get so embarrassed, cause they think they’ll make fun of em

Bonus++ how would they react to someone making fun of their S/O for snorting when they laugh? ⬆️ This is just a little extra if you’d like to write it

feel free to dilute/leave some parts of this ask out because I understand this is very specific 😅

have a nice day/night! <3

✨—

Thank you sm I'm so glad you love it. I tried really hard to get him right.

This one is easy for me bc I snort when I laugh too.

Have a good day ✨!

Price, Simon, König, and Alejandro with an S/O who snorts when they laugh

Price

It's not rare that he makes you laugh. He usually gets a chuckle or a good laugh out of you when he says something with that dry humor of his

It kind of makes him feel good when he does make you laugh because it makes him feel not so much of an "boring old man" as he puts it

He also just likes to make you happy

So one night while he's on leave, the two of you decide to have some fun playing a game together while sharing some drinks

You both are a little tipsy and in high spirits, so the jokes were coming out easily

Price ended up saying something so funny you couldn't breathe with how hard you both were laughing

Then you snorted and you immediately went quiet.

Your entire body heated up and you placed your hands over your mouth as you avoided looking at Price, the silence from him making things a lot worse for you

You were mortified, just waiting for you him to say something

Price heard it, but he was honestly worried that something bad had happened to make your mood turn sour that quick

"You alright, love?" He wondered and you nodded, though you didn't look okay. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Let's keep playing." You tried to change the subject but he was set on making you laugh again.

Because Price isn't stupid, he put it together and honestly, he was mad that anyone would ever make fun of you for snorting when you're at your happiest

He didn't say anything as he began to tickle you, locking you into his arms so you couldn't get away from him. No matter how hard you tried to get away, he just held onto you and tickled you

"S-Stop! John!" You begged as you laughed so hard you snorted multiple times.

"There we go." He chuckled and kissed you on the cheek.

He likes that you snort when you laugh because he likes when you laugh. It let's him know you're truly having fun

God forbid anyone makes fun of you when you snort when he's around. He's about to become the meanest version of himself because he'll find something to say back

Simon

You laugh around him a lot and at his horrible dad jokes, which makes him feel a little too proud of himself

It enables him to make more jokes and if Soap is around it's like torture

He uses them as a good way to make you happy and when you're happy, he's happy. It's cliché, but truthfully, your happiness is something that is his top priority over everything

Usually those jokes don't make you laugh that hard though, and he's okay with that because he knows you still find joy out of them

One morning you both are laying in bed, you somehow convinced him to lay in bed later than he usually does, dozing in and out of sleep since it was the weekend

Simon was cuddling you and he was content with the silence, but a good joke popped into his head and he just had to share it with you

"Did you know diarrhea is genetic?" He asked and you looked at him with confusion.

"What?" You asked half asleep.

"It runs in your jeans."

It started out soft, your laughter, but soon you were laughing pretty hard at his joke, a lot harder than normal. It had taken you off guard and it was a bad joke, but somehow it made you laugh so hard you snorted

You gasped and placed a hand over your mouth, before you hid under the covers

Simon was confused but oh so surprised at your reaction

He made you laugh so hard, you snorted

It was an ego boost that's for sure and he wanted to make you laugh like that again, your happiness making him actually smile

He began an onslaught of horrible dad jokes, making you laugh harder with each other until you snorted again

He loves it. He already loved hearing you laugh but knowing you can laugh that hard and he's the one making you that happy makes he feel like he can do anything

Death glares towards anyone who makes fun of you and he'll probably say something mean in return

(yes i took the joke from the tlou tv show it made me laugh)

König

Any good moment he has with you, he cherishes because sometimes he gets a little insecure about if you actually like him

It’s definitely just the social anxiety talking but it makes him feel funky so he tries his best to combat those thoughts by making the most of the time you have together

When he makes you laugh, it's almost like all of the bad thoughts get pushed away by and it just makes him feel a lot better than he was

He always sends or shows you things that he knows will make you happy or laugh. It makes him feel like he's doing a good job at being your S/O

(You make sure to let him know that he doesn't always have to make you feel happy for him to be the best S/O you've had. You're always there to support him when he struggles)

One time you both were just sitting in silence, enjoying each others company while he decompresses after getting back from deployment

König was scrolling his phone aimlessly to just occupy his mind before he saw a funny video that he knew you were going to enjoy

He showed it to you, pride swelling in his chest when you began to laugh at the video and he even laughed a little himself before you snorted

When you suddenly stopped laughing and turned away from him, he immediately began to panic on the inside

Did you think he was laughing at you? That he was making fun of you?

Never in his life would he ever want to make you feel that way because he knows how bad that feeling is.

"I'm sorry." He apologized even though it wasn't his fault. "I wasn't laughing at you."

"I know, it's just embarrassing." You sighed and kept your back towards him.

"I don't think so."

He gave you a kiss on the top of your head and slowly after that you felt a lot less insecure about snorting when laughing, especially when he was around

His social anxiety disappears immediately when someone makes a comment about it and he may or may not call them out on it

Alejandro

This man is in love with everything about you and there is no one who would deny that

You and him laugh together often, there's a lot about life that you both try to make the most of and enjoy, especially when he works in such a violent field

He makes sure you're always comfortable around him and sometimes lets himself do embarrassing things to make you feel better about embarrassing yourself

He's 100% your ride or die and he will go out of his way to make you happy or to at least lessen the bad moods so you're not entirely upset

He doesn't joke very often with you but he never fails to make you laugh when he's showing you a movie or something he thought was funny. He also tends to tickle you when he wants to hear you laugh

You both were watching a comedy movie, a way for him to wind down after a long day of work

Something particularly funny happened that had you both belly laughing on the couch and when you snorted, you were embarrassed but you hoped that he didn't hear it over his own laughter, but he had

He didn't think anything of it, he honestly thought it was funny but he adored it so he waited for it to happen again when another funny part came on the tv, but it never did

"You don't like your laugh?" He wondered and you tried to hide your embarrassment.

"I don't like that I snort when I laugh." You explained and he hummed before he paused the movie.

"I love it, so you can do it when you're around me, mi vida."

Over time you stopped feeling embarrassed when you laughed that hard around him

If someone were to ever make fun of you when he's around, he's going to go into a million different insults, but in English and Spanish depending who he's talking to and how mad he is

A/N: I'm so sorry this took so long and also that König's part was short. He's hard for me to write for some reason but I hope to get better at it

[dare-to-dm]

Bit of a rant, but a lot of y'all spend too much money on things you don't even enjoy. This applies to many things, but what started me on this line of thought is video game consumer habits.

This last year I did an independent study on xbox games that involved looking at a lot of player data, including looking at achievements to see how much of games people have actually played.

And I was staggered to find how common it is for people to buy a game and play it maybe once before putting it down for good. Like, it's one thing if you start a game and can tell right away that you don't really like it (although at a $70 price tag for some new games, I sincerely hope you're doing at least a little research beforehand to try to avoid that!). But a lot of people not only never beat a game, they hardly even start it.

I'm not as familiar with the PC market, but anecdotally it sounds even worse. I've looked at some of my friends' Steam libraries, and it seems like a common habit is buying a ton of games on sale, but never playing the majority of them even once. This should be obvious, but getting an item on sale is not a good deal if you won't use the item. It's just a waste of money.

And to be clear, this isn't an attack on "avacado toast eating millenials" mocking them for struggling financially with the deck stacked against them. I'm a hedonist, and I fully believe that entertainment has importance and value. You should buy things that you like. But I also think you should be a rational consumer and spend your hard earned dollars in a logical manner to maximize your enjoyment. Or at the very least, not throw your money away.

I see this with other hobbies like reading or crafting too. People with dozens of unread books they bought at the store, or knitters who have spent hundreds of dollars on yarn but haven't made anything in the last year. It's like people want to buy an identity for themselves. "I buy books because I'm a Reader!"

I just want to let you know that it's okay. You're still a reader even if you haven't read anything lately. I'm sure there's a good reason you haven't. Or maybe you've changed, and no longer enjoy a hobby you once loved, but you don't want to accept that. That's okay too! Just don't think that your love of something can be judged by how much money you spend on it.

[owlight]

Hello! May I request Killer, Kid and Law realizing they are falling in love with crush? Thanks!

Heyyy,thank u for requesting! I love killer so Really big love for u for requesting for him 😩🫰💖

Masterlist / rules for if you wanna request

Law & Kid & killer realizing they have fallen in love with Thier crush

Law

he was in denial at first

Perhaps because he was trying to tell himself it was only a crush ,it will go away sooner than later , You're not that important to him etc

Even tho his heart skip a beat everytime you smile at him

Or how he tries to spend a lot of time with you ,even if it meant sitting in same room as you as you read a book, enjoying your company perhaps had become a habit of his ,he couldn't even deny you a request if you asked him to,even if he is your captain,he surely doing anything you ask him without much thought

" here captain,I got some tea,also If you don't mind , would you like to help me in the kitchen later at dinner? I need your cutting skills ,please?" you tell law with some puppy eyes ,law smiles gently at you "thank you-huf ,sure ,it won't take that long but you will own me one" he tells you with a cheeky tone,you chuckle "thanks ! And sure! Anything you want! Promise!" You tell him as you leave him be,law smiles as you leave and he keep smiling after you leave and he completely look so..in love

It hit him like a train in full speed,right at in his heart ,he almost dropped the mug he was holding

This isn't just some crush

He is fully in love and he Can't help but feel a little scared at the idea of Begin in love with you

How would you even react to your captain confessing to you? should he confess?

This man will not confess first ,if you have feelings for him ,you gotta confess first

I can see him Taking you out on " friend dates" and "friends cuddling" and "friends holding hands" In hope u fall in love back and confess to him so he can ask u to marry him

He will handle it very in a very mature way for sure

You ask him out on a date and he will agree before you actually continue the question

This man is down bad for affection and love , please give him some

Kid

He will not accept it ,like Law will admit it to himself but kid? You will not catch him accepting the fact he have fallen in love

He thought his childhood crush was bad but this one is different for sure

He can't admit it but You literally got him in a chokehold ,like he is hot headed and mean and Mouthy but with you , it's bit different

he knows He is in love because he treat you a bit less rough than he would have been doing when he had a crush

Like when you're alone together in his workshop?? He scare himself of how...Calm he could be ,not because he is trying to be ,but because he want to hear what you want to say and do ,he want to be a part of your life and he want you to come to him with everything you got

" and you know i think I might just start making candles,these shops are robbing me with how expensive they are! I can't even find my favorite scent anymore" you complain as you sit on a table while kid is making something,he is smiling a small smile as you talk " you are a pirate,you could rob the stores you know" he tells you with a cheeky tone and you squint at him " I won't rob Small business kid , that's mean,I don't do mean like you do " you huff and kid laughs " I'm not mean Doll, I'm brutally honest " he point a finger at your face "next time, just bring me with you and I'm sure they will lower the prices for you"

Your Relationship with him won't change beside the fact he will flex around you even more than it's humanly possible

And flirt even more

He is confident he can make you fall in love with him with his charm

Will not confess to you sober

He ended up confessing to you when he was drunk

Is highly flustered when you tell him that you like him back

Good luck getting rid of him after getting with him , also killer is part of the package

Killer

You were helping him cook in the kitchen, it was very early in the morning and the peaceful,he wasn't paying attention to you much as he prepared some good quality breakfast Stakes but suddenly he heard a low sniff then sob and he couldn't help but look your way only to find you all teary " hey (y/n) , what's wrong?" He asks rather worried ,you chuckle through the tears " these onions are just mean to me" you joke as you point at the onions you're cutting ,Killer shake his head as he snort " Here let me cut them,I don't like to see you crying over onions" he tells you with a gentle tone ,you chuckles " Getting all soft for me huh killer?" You asks him teasingly,Killer pat your head as he take over the cutting bored" barely,Go stand near the stakes and keep an eye on them for me " he order you and you nod "ay ay captain!pft actually don't let kid know I called you that " You joke as you wipe your eyes from the tears and head to the sink to wash your hands before getting to the stove,you both continue with making breakfast in comfortable silence.. expect killer mind was anything but silent

He haven't had a crush since a very long time ,Having crush on you was rather refreshing,But begin in love? That..just...troubling

He just know he doesn't wish to see tears in your eyes ,Hell he just want to be the reason why you're smiling

He will need exactly 4 days to come in term with it ,He will Try to avoid you during those times but fail miserably really

He will not confess ,but he would ask you on a date,just the two of you together doing something you enjoy

He will make you fall in love with him quickly,this man Got good game

Just be prepared to be third wheeling whenever kid is around

[vixencrawley]

A Price To Pay |•Dark!Ominis Gaunt x Stripper!Mc

Chapter 1: On My Feet

Summary: 5 years after graduating from Hogwarts, Ominis Gaunt has shocked the ministry by taking over the Gaunt household, inheriting every single power that the famous family has from his brother, changing in ways Mc doesn't realize; Mc's prestigious family has gone into ruin after her father's arrest and her little sister developing a serious illness. Mc was desperate to get cash to get her sister back into a hospital, she thought maybe she could "borrow" some money from her dearest friend Ominis. Mc will soon find out that the new and improved Gaunt will take back what's supposed to be his no matter what it takes.

Genre: Dark Romance, Angst, Smutty

Word Count: 2,546k

Author's Note: This is my first time writing fanfiction so please be kind and send helpful critisim, i must warn the readers that this is a dark romance ff so please do not read if you are uncomfortable with it. and no smut yet thats for the next chapter hehehe.

BE. GONE. MINORS.

Warning: 18+, Kidnapping, Robbery, Dying, Stockholm Syndrome, Rough Sex, Master kink, explicit sexual content, aged-up characters, love triangle? Eye gouging, explicit dancing 

Footsteps collide with the muddy waters scattered around the dark street. I pant heavily as I try to run as fast as a scared fox, sharp edges of a gold plated porcelain plate dug through my skin yet I ignored the pain.

Sounds of my dark clock harmonized with the stomps of countless horses "Capture her!" yelled by a guard drawing their wands towards the running figure .

My skin shivered from the cold unforgivable air. I knew I shouldn't have stolen from the gaunts but this is the only way I could save her, Ominis will understand..right? Turning my heel to a secluded alleyway a wall began to slowly appear from the ground. I quickly grabbed onto a pile of boxes, threw them in the ground creating a quick makeshift ramp.

Without hesitation I ran towards the crowded pub across the street. I hid behind a few pedestrians and slipped through the backdoor. I dropped the sack of stolen items I was holding and quickly grabbed the bag hidden behind a few garbage bins, moving the stolen items in it. 

Shuffling around my pockets to pull out two veils of polyjuice potion. I saw a harmless sleeping homeless person and dosed the polyjuice potion onto them. Having them transform as a version of me, with a heavy heart I regrettably leave the homeless person posing as me to distract the guards who were following me. 

I calmly walked towards an alley while I drank the remaining polyjuice potion. Turning into a fine gentleman, my hair turning gray, facial hair starts to grow above my lip. I took off my cloak revealing a more high class three piece suit, no one suspects a man. 

Walking down the streets with the confidence of an innocent man as I hear guards capturing the 'suspect' on the abandoned alleyway. I look back ensuring myself that they would let the man go as soon they figured out they were actually innocent. 'they would be fine, I need to do this for Alice' 

__________________________________

Knockturn Alley became my home. No matter how dangerous it may be it was a place that unseemly turned into something familiar. I used to remember coming here with another of my old friends, Sebastian Sallow, he would always claim to protect me from the wandering eyes of passersby. Oh how much I missed the sense of safety, quickly walking to an almost rundown apartment building. 

Unlocking the door and opening it to see my younger sister, Alice making tea. Her body is weak from this muggle illness called cancer, her hair falling like a leaf in the autumn season. 

Small single bedroom with a few kitchen items on the west side of the room. It was lifeless, something I'm sure Alice isn't used to but was our home, it was the only thing i could afford with a hectic schedule.

I dropped my bag, quickly rushing towards her side "Alice, I told you not to strain your body didn't I?" I calmly said as I led her back to the one bed on the apartment floor. "I know sister.. I just thought I could make you some breakfast today" Alice coughed as she laid down on the bed. 

"You shouldn't worry about those things Alice" pulling the blankets over her fragile shivering body "If I'm not worried about such things who would sister?" She commented, causing me to smile from the corners of my mouth. 

"I can handle myself Alice, I'm your great big sister after all" I stretched my arm out flexing it, showing my little sister how strong her big sister is. She giggled at my gesture but her smile quickly faded. "Are you working late again?" 

It was hard enough to support the both of us after our father was convicted through the crimes of treason. Taking all of my family's wealth as compensation from all the lives he scammed away, I know leaving Alice alone in the rundown apartment wasn't the best idea but it was the only one I could afford…for now.’Getting her back to St. Mungos is my first priority’

Getting up from the floor I walk towards the kitchen, if you can call it that. I picked up the bag I threw on the ground and moved it to the dirty counter. 

"Unfortunately, yes.. but don't worry after my shift we'll be able to have enough for you to be back in St. Mungos for a couple of months and after you get better I'll take you to the carnival" I announced as I finished making breakfast from the unfinished food Alice created earlier.

I hear my sister squeal in excitement. She would always tell me she wanted to go to that carnival around the corner of Knockturn Alley. With the remaining cash that should be left after I give it to Eugene. 

As soon as I finished making breakfast I got two plates and set a portion for me and Alice. Intentionally making Alice's portion much bigger than mine, placing Alice's plate in front of her. She immediately started eating her breakfast.

"Did you get a promotion in your waitress job,sister?" Alice asked full of curiosity, I took a deep breath. It's hard to lie to my sister. I know she wouldn't approve of me being an exotic dancer or even a thief but it's the only way I could pay for her expensive care at St. Mungus not to mention the countless potions. 

"Yeah so you have nothing to worry about" I smiled towards her hoping she wouldn't push more questions. "Oh Merlin! I forgot to tell you something sister" she weakly grabbed a letter that was hidden inside the bedside drawer. 

"An owl came by earlier and left this letter, it was addressed to you" she handed me the letter, it was pristine it looked like it was written with the fanciest paper anyone could afford. I turned the envelope and a certain word got my attention. 

'Gaunt' "It's from the Gaunts, I think it's from Ominis, your best friend, sister!" Alice said excitedly but all I could feel was horror, maybe it was a mistake I made sure he wouldn't recognize me! 

"I missed Ominis sister! Do you remember when he would always give me sweets when his family used to visit us in London!" My sister reminisced about Ominis. I didn't want to tell her how much the gaunt family turned their back on us when father was imprisoned for treason. 

"Yeah I missed Ominis too.." I whispered as I got up to hide the envelope in the closet. 

Ominis Gaunt was my best friend, someone who I could play violin as he played piano, someone who I could sneak out of the bedroom to grab snacks in the kitchen, someone who would tutor me in charms class, or someone who would comfort you after Sebastian ran away.

“Ominis! Guess what I just found in the garden?” I said with a child-like smile hiding a small item behind my back. I knew ominous couldn't see but i still wanted it to be a surprise “Could it perhaps be another grimes fairy tale book?” Ominis proclaimed with a small smirk forming in the corner of his mouth, his head never leaving the book he held. “Nope! Guess again!” I shook my head, swaying my body weight back and forth as I looked down at my yellow gown.

Slowly looking up at young Ominis who wore a green plaid vest with a white beige linen shirt paired with a black trousers. He looked rather dashing in outerwear. He dropped the braille book on top of the table in front of his chair. Ominis took a deep breath and creased his chin “Ah ha! Could it be a pastry?” He declared with a proud smile.

“Nope! Do you want me to tell you?” I giggled at Ominis who hadn't guessed the item I was holding behind my back. He smiled defeatingly and looked at my general direction “ Okay fine please tell me what it is”. “Hold out your hand” I said as I reached for his tiny hands, he willingly reached for mine as well; gently opening his palms I placed a very delicate daisy onto it “It's a daisy! I found it in the backside of the garden!”

Gently guiding his fingers to ‘see’ the flower “Sadly there was only one i couldn't find a field of them! I heard from our muggle servant that in the  muggle world there is a field of daisies that exists in the countryside!”  Sitting next to his legs I placed my head on his lap.I so badly wanted to see a field of daisies..Do you think Hogwarts has a field of daisies?” I questioned him hoping he would answer yes “I don't think hogwarts has a field of daisies,little dove”

I pouted my bottom lip, knowing deep down I wouldn't be able to see a field of daisies ``urgh”. Ominis gently patted my head “Don't worry i promise you’ll see a field of daisies, i'll make sure you’ll see a plentiful” that statement alone still made me sad i was able to see a field of daisies what about Ominis? Disheartened, I gazed upon Ominis; he looked really handsome with his foggy blue eyes. “I don't want to see a field of daisies anymore”

“How so?” He asked with curiosity “Well if i can see a field of daisies then you wouldn't! I wanna experience that with you ominis!” He caressed my cheeks,feeling his warmth calmed  me in a way I couldn't describe. “ Its okay, i know without my sight im not able to experience things with you but as long as i am with you i am perfectly fine with it” 

I would be lying if i haven't said that ominis’s words often leave me blushing red. He let go of my cheeks and grabbed his want in his pockets and did a unfamiliar spell “Presavation Acentio!” He announced as he flicked and whipped his wand  casting an invisible cast around the single daisy. I stared at it in awe. “What spell did you just use?And where did you learn that Omi?” He giggled at my curiosity “Just some books i had been reading in preparation for my first year in hogwarts”

Sadly, I remembered that ominis would have to leave to attend Hogwarts in a few months; I wouldn't be able to play with him. “It's a preservation spell you can keep the daisy for decades” He placed it on the palm of my hands. I shook my head and got up to his level “No! You should keep it! You're leaving for Hogwarts and you don't have anything to remember me by!” I inserted the daisy in his dress pocket in his vest “When you go to Hogwarts I want you to remember me every time you see a daisy”.

Ominis chuckled at my gestures and grabbed my hand, he kissed the back of my hand “I couldn't possibly forget someone like you my little dove, but if you wished i will remember you as i smell a hint of daisy or even grazed upon one” I smiled proudly knowing ominis would remember be by a beautiful flower. 

__________________________________

After making sure my sister was well fed I quietly left and locked the apartment ensuring she wouldn't be able to wake up from me leaving so quickly. 

It was time for my shift at the pub, countless people flooded the place. It's surrounded by nobles who are dealing illegal crimes at the sideline, and obviously numerous drunkies who drink their lives' problems away. ‘How ignorant’. 

I sighed and entered the staffroom, changing into a laced corset with matching lace stockings. Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder sending cold shivers down my spine. "Mc! There you are"  a enthusiastic tone said by the one and only Eugene O'Brien. 

"Well hello to you too Eugene" I said in a condescending tone towards him. "Don't be like that Mc, I'm the one helping you after all" he prompted his arm around my shoulder. 

Flinching from the sudden action I kept a straight face even if I was disgusted at his gesture, I know deep down he is not helping me with good intentions. But he is the only one who can get me jobs like a exotic dancer and even a thief at such short notice. 

I took a deep breath and avoided eye contact as he went on about a whore he banged. I clutched my chest trying to suppress my shaky hands. 

His laugh faded as he noticed my demeanor, he harshly grabbed my chin to face him "Don't give me that attitude Crawley! Remember the hand that feeds you" 

I looked up at him trying to look at his other features like his brown locks or that  scar across his lips. I know if I ever looked at him eye to eye he would sense my fear of him. He was right, Alice and I are only alive because he gave me a chance at numerous jobs. 

I nodded at his statement, my fingers trembled" I'm sorry Eugene.. I'm just on edge today..please forgive me.." I begged hoping he would let my unprofessional attitude go, legs felt weak as I tried to intimidate him back. 

He rashly let go of my chin, tossing me down on the ground. I stayed on the ground not wanting to look up at his tall figure. "You should be grateful I started a small conversation with a whore like you." He bent down and grabbed my hair, forcing me to look at him. 

"Where's the items I told you to steal?" I shakily pointed at the bag I came in a while ago, it is filled with the items I was instructed to grab. He let go my hair and snatched the bag "I'll get your share later slut"

I pant heavily frightened by his cruel actions towards me, I looked away trying to focus on the mold on the lockers instead of trying to suppress my panic at the situation. 

A knock was heard through the door and Eugene walked towards. I looked at the door's direction still avoiding eye contact, another staff member came and whispered something to Eugene and quickly left after. 

I reluctantly got up from the floor, even if my limbs slowly turned into jelly. Snapping his fingers, it rang in my ears and swiftly looked at Eugene's direction, I lowered my head not wanting to give him more reasons to get furious. 

"Mc! Get ready your regular Mr. Snake requested you" the mention of Mr. Snake somehow calmed my nerves, out of every regulars that had requested for me he had happened to be my favorite. 

He was a gentleman yet still carried a demanding aura. He would always request me and would often extend his time until my shift ends. "I understand I'll get ready"

"He's in the green room" Eugene commented as he left and headed towards his office, while looking through the bag. I swallowed the lump on my throat not realizing I was holding my breath. I opened my locker again and swiftly reapplied my makeup

tags: @littletealight @slootmagix @jakesully-sbabygirl @lizonzon @slytherinmodqueen @khamanix @belladorea @mehnotenoughtime @choccy-milky @cuffmeinblack @greedyforgarreth

[flanaganfilm]

Hey Mike, can you talk about your work on Revival? What was it like reading the book, writing the script, making it all work? I know people thought it was going to be like Midnight Mass, but King is tackling religion far differently & I would have loved to see your adaptation of that. Furthermore, why did you decide to leave the project? I read somewhere it had to do with the film rights, but I’m sure there’s more to that story & id love to hear your side of it.

Also, Life of Chuck…. 1.85:1 or Scope? C’mon, Mike! Spill the beans!

Thanks!

I was very excited about Revival. King had given me the rights after I finished the script for Doctor Sleep, and we took it around town as a pitch. Warner Bros. picked up the project and commissioned the script.

I wrote a script I love, and turned it in to Warner Bros. It couldn't be more different than Midnight Mass; that was always a very weird and unfair comparison. The only thing they have in common is that each story features a priest; any comparisons wouldn't have survived opening weekend, that was never really a thing.

Revival is one of King's scariest and most effective books, and I was madly in love with the movie. I stayed very true to the book, and the story spanned over decades. It was a character-forward epic about mortality, and the futility of hope, dealing with themes of lost love, addiction, and hubris. In fact, it has way more in common with Frankenstein than Midnight Mass, and I was stoked to make it. It wasn't cheap, though - the set pieces were big, the VFX budget was intimidating, and it fit into a type of budget that isn't typically made these days.

For those reasons, ultimately, after Doctor Sleep's disappointing performance at the box office, Warner Bros. didn't want to pursue the movie. They had really liked the Frankenstein comparisons, but that only comes into play at the very end of the story. Their pitch was to start the story there, and jettison most of the actual novel in favor of a new, heavily Frankenstein inspired narrative. It was a bridge too far, and changed the source material too radically.

Warner Bros. faith in the project had been seriously damaged by the box office performance of Doctor Sleep, and the character-forward epic I was pitching was just too risky given the hefty price tag. Ultimately, I wasn't willing to change the story as drastically as they wanted to, and it just didn't make sense to make it for that budget - so they opted not to make the film, and that was that. I didn't leave the project at all - the studio just didn't want to move forward with it. Revival is not the most obvious project. It is more expensive than a lot of comparable horror titles, and we didn't want to do it as a streaming movie - we bet the farm on a theatrical feature, and the cards didn't fall in our favor this time. My window of availability as a director rapidly closed. I was heading fast into Midnight Club and Fall of the House of Usher for Netflix, so without a viable attachment from me for at least a few years, the project couldn't move forward at all, and the rights reverted back to Stephen King. We discussed whether we wanted to try to keep it alive, but we were already deep into talks about The Dark Tower, whose rights were about to become available after years of being tied up. Steve doesn't like to give the same person multiple rights as a general rule, because he doesn't want his projects to stall out in development, which makes good sense. Given the choice, we absolutely wanted to focus on The Dark Tower. We let Revival go, and last I heard, some other people were developing it as a TV project. I absolutely love the script I wrote, and I'm disappointed that Warner Bros. didn't want to make it, but it's their studio and their prerogative. I can't say I blame their reasoning. In fact, I completely see their point. I could have dug in and fought harder to keep it, but that might mean I wouldn't have gotten the rights to The Dark Tower.

And I hate to say it, but Revival would have taken a similar narrative approach to Doctor Sleep, and - well - audiences just didn't show up for that movie. It's entirely likely that the same would have happened here - this was another long, character-centric story that wasn't entirely a mainstream horror tale, and it was expensive. And this didn't have The Shining connection to lean on. I am so sorry to say this, but I don't have a lot of faith that audiences would have supported us if we'd bet the farm on a theatrical release of Revival as I wanted to make it. So honestly, I think it all worked out for the best. You win some and you lose some in this business. Who knows, maybe it'll come back some day - I also lost the rights to Gerald's Game back in 2014 when we couldn't find a partner who wanted to make the movie. They eventually came around again, and the timing worked out. The same could happen here - maybe we get another chance, or may we revisit it down the line as a limited series. Stranger things have happened. Ka is a wheel. Or, maybe this new television production of Revival will get off the ground, and if it does I wish them nothing but the best with it. It's a phenomenal story, and I'll be first in line to see it.

[thehighpriestexx420]

What do they think/feel about you?

Pick A Card - General Collective Tarot Reading

Take a moment to consider each picture/pile number and see which one calls out to you. One may pop out more than the others immediately. This indicates this pile will significantly resonate with you and you're meant to see this.

You may feel drawn to more than one pile and that works too. Take what resonates and leave the rest. This is a general reading for whoever sees this and every detail may not be for you as an individual.

My Tarot Services:

My Reviews:

Pile 1

The Hanged Man clarified by The Star, The Devil clarified by 3 of Swords, 2 of Wands clarified by The Tower, 7 of Pentacles clarified by The Magician, Page of Swords clarified by 10 of Wands, & The World clarified by Ace of Swords

This is an ex. They're being faced with a decision as to whether or not they should pursue you. They want to but the heartbreak and grief from the breakup is holding them back and clouding their mind. They were unfairly critical towards you only due to the stress of the breakup. They don't truly think that of you and need to work on managing their emotions.

I saw 444 when I was doing your reading. The meaning of this number further clarifies some things. They're currently thinking about you too. You're mirroring eachother and may be twin flames, a member of the same soul family, and/or have soul-ties.

You both have deep love for each other and are meant to teach each other what it means to be whole, complete, balanced, and in harmony. You're the whole world to them and you're everything they could ever want. A main message for you is to trust in your intuition and the guidance you've been recieving from your guides/angels. You're right to have faith/hope for this relationship. Change is coming soon.

They're of 2 minds about this connection but their faith and trust in what they're seeing is growing. It's currently the dominant perspective, even if slightly. They know what you are to eachother, that the difficult times you've gone through served as lessons, and that you're meant to continue on eachother's path. However, they still have to gather their courage and determination in order to fully test that theory. Overcoming the pain and loss of confidence they're experiencing isn't easy.

They're thinking and contemplating a lot about this connection. Their mind feels really scattered and it's like they're fighting themselves and for clarity. They're obsessing, stressed, and guarded.

They're going to reach out when they can't take it anymore just to find relief and get out of their head. At this point, knowing your response is worth whatever rejection may occur. I'm feeling that they're actually going to explode and reach out within days - around 5 for alot of you.

Their mind reminds me of ADHD, anxiety, and depression so if they have these it largely contributes to their scattered mind and what they have to overcome in order to reach out to you.

They find you very attractive and like to watch & admire you. They want to have rough, even harsh, sex with you.

Pile 2

Judgement clarified by The Devil, 5 of Swords clarified by Temperance, The Moon clarified by Ace of Pentacles, The Hanged Man clarified by The Hierophant, 9 of Swords clarified by Death, & The Devil clarified by 7 of Wands

It's interesting that you choose the picture with fire and your reading contains a lot of firey energy along with fire imagery. There's a lot of anger and conflict here. For the large majority of you, you're the one who needs to learn how to manage your emotions and they're the passive one and/or the one who walks away during arguments.

You've been arguing and yelling alot and this is endangering your relationship if they haven't broken up with you already. They've been seeking advice from their friends/family and this has made it harder for them to figure out their own thoughts and use their best judgement.

They don't want to walk away from *you*, they want to walk away from the screaming. They want a new beginning with you that's healed and harmonious. They see the value of this relationship and want to work on it with you. But that means you have to be willing because they won't stay around for the mistreatment.

This is a deep seeded issue you have and you have to consistently show the change you want with your actions in order to ease their concerns and worries. They need some space to themself and to find the courage and inner strength to communicate their desire to you.

Pile 3

King of Wands clarified by Ace of Wands, 8 of Chalices clarified by 2 of Swords, Ace of Swords clarified by 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords clarified by 10 of Wands, 7 of Pentacles clarified by 3 of Swords, & The Hanged Man clarified by The Devil

Your person is currently in a relationship with someone else. Deep down they know they have to leave the relationship but they feel trapped and confused. They pride themselves on being loyal and supportive with whoever their current partner is so they may even be suppressing and denying their passionate feelings towards you.

They need to change their perspective about this situation in order to see the way out of it. You can try to deny reality but at the end of the day, in order to truly live, you have to have the courage and determination to go after what you want. You're being asked to trust in their ability to do this. They'll come to you, just have patience.

They need to get past their guilt and anguish to see that they can't help how they feel and the only reason to feel guilty is if they stayed in a relationship where they're not honest about having feelings for someone else. The extremely high passion they feel towards you will push them to rise above this.

Pile 4

The Hanged Man clarified by Death, Page of Wands clarified by 8 of Wands, The World clarified by Daughter of Wands, Judgement clarified by Temperance, 5 of Pentacles clarified by 7 of Wands, & 7 of Pentacles clarified by Ace of Swords

Your person is someone from your past - likely an ex. You had a falling out and they want forgiveness, healing, harmony, and renewal in your relationship.

They're done hanging in limbo. They want to work on your relationship, learn from the obstacles that caused you to fall out, and rise above them. The clarity they've gained about this after taking some time to reflect on this situation will have them reaching out to you very soon. They'll express their romantic love for you and their desire to heal the relationship.

They see you as their whole world, attractive, and vibrant. They want to have a home with you and see you as their home. Although it's important to not get on your bad side, they see the love and care you have for them. You make them feel safe, protected, loved, and comforted.

You may be overly protective of yourself & misinterpret things due to needing to heal your inner child and work through trauma.

Although they're afraid of rejection and things going wrong, they have the passion, courage, and strength to reach out to you. Losing you has caused them to hit rock bottom and go through a difficult grieving period. It's made it hard for them to have motivation for alot of things, including reaching out to you because of the hopelessness that depression brings.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

HYBE Financials and Media Play Part 2

Dang it! Why did so much have to happen with HYBE before I had a chance to write this installment? At least I have plenty of material to continue this series.

Let's start where I left off, with some examples of actual media play with stories and tweets hyping up HYBE's 2nd quarter revenue while completely ignoring the always falling net income.

Start here if you're interested in this ongoing thread:

Here's a post from Kpop Charts celebrating HYBE's incredible second quarter. Notice there's no mention of the $12 million net profit or of their ever-dropping profit margin to 2.28%. This post had over 600,000 views.

There were loads of posts and articles just like the one above on the day HYBE released their 2Q24 financials. It's worth noting these media outlets get a press release from HYBE and just regurgitate the information rather than vetting it. This is how the company continues to fool the general public.

I found one article that actually mentioned the declining net income, but it's still reads like a press release from the company. Check it out to see the excuses they make for low net income despite the record-breaking revenue.

When it comes to media play and outright lies, nothing comes close to how HYBE has pinned all their problems on Min Hee Jin. The last 48 hours have been media play on steroids, but let's focus on the message HYBE has been broadcasting for months now. Article after article has blamed HYBE's falling stock price on their difficulties with MHJ. It's really quite smart strategy to pin their falling stock price on her rather than facing the fact that K-pop isn't the long-term cash cow the company claims it to be. The reality is, financial analysts have been sounding the alarm for months that the K-pop industry is a financial house of cards. They rely too heavily on record sales (we've all seen the stacks of CDs abandoned on the street). I guess the Chinese government has cracked down on mass buying, which hurts the K-pop industry, but so does the inflation that's hitting so many across the globe hard. When fans are given the choice between buying tons of the same album or paying rent, I'm pretty sure most would choose food and shelter over 100 copies of the latest Seventeen album.

Blaming MHJ for the falling stock sends the message to investors that all of HYBE's problems will be fixed once they get rid of that pesky woman, when in reality, she and her label are good for HYBE's bottom line. They can (and I guess did) fire her, but that won't change the waning interest in K-pop on a global scale.

All the K-pop music labels are seeing huge drops in their stock prices. Do they also have a Min Hee Jin problem???

Year to date, these stock prices are down approximately -

JYP -50%

YG -28%

SM -32%

It's almost like there's a problem in the industry, right?!

I'm going to go into the HYBE?MHJ situation more deeply in my next post, but I want to end this post with another example of how HYBE manipulates public perception. This article is from CNBC, a major US media outlet, and it's straight lies.

Originally, the article claimed MHJ resigned as CEO, but we now know that was a falsehood coming directly from HYBE. The article was updated a day later to clear up that whopper. But the huge lie staring everyone in the face is the gains in the market cap/increase in stock price. The article completely fails to mention that on the same day HYBE canned MHJ, they also quietly announced a stock buy back worth 26.6 billion won with the express purpose of boosting the stock price.

The company is buying up common stock and converting it to restricted stock. Once the common stock is converted to restricted stock, the fewer shares of common stock will mean the EPS increases (earnings per share). Earnings per share is calculated by dividing net income (see previous post) by the number of outstanding common stock shares. I can talk about this more if anyone is interested. But suffice it to say, this is a way to make the company's share price increase while making the company appear more financially sound.

A restricted stock unit (RSU) is stock-based compensation issued by an employer. A vesting period exists before the RSU converts to actual common stock. Until then, it has no monetary worth. Once the RSU converts to stock, the stockholder may pay taxes on its value.

The stock price increase had absolutely nothing to do with MHJ "resigning" and had everything to do with the buy back. If anything, giving the boot to the executive whose business line contributes 14% to the bottom line should scare the shit out of investors. Those sneaky bastards!

Whatever you think about Min Hee Jin or NewJeans, please keep in mind that the members of BTS seem to be stuck in that crappy, poorly run corporation. It seems Bang Si Hyuk and his goons have no problem destroying reputations and careers of individuals who commit the sin of being successful. Does that sound familiar?

[bloodynectarine]

The devil is in the details

You try (and fail) to spoil Diavolo on his birthday, as he picks a grocery store of all places to spend a night with you in. Or, the shortest sugar daddy career ever.

tags. gender-neutral mc, crack and fluff, diavolo x mc, mc is whipped, but so is diavolo.

notes. I'M LATE, november went by in a blur, what's up with that. even so, i wanted to finish this one and i'm shameless, so please pretend diavolo's birthday is around the corner while reading.

thanks to @property-of-diavolo for hosting #diamonth2022 sorry for the delay (!!)

As of late, you can't help but feel self-conscious every time you set foot in the Demon Lord's Castle.

You've become suddenly hyperaware of the fact that you're not only stopping by to join sweet, attentive and easygoing Diavolo for a cup of tea but… Well. You're actually hanging out with the ruler of the Devildom.

Naturally, you already knew that. But trying to find the perfect birthday gift for a soon-to-be-kinda-already-king has brought a ―drastic, sometimes suffocating― change of perspective.

What could you offer to someone that seems to have everything and anything he could want? There's no avoiding it: sooner than later, you find yourself noticing details that you've swiftly overlooked before.

The almost translucent centerpiece that sits on the dinner table between you and Dia, the gold-lined curtains that he carelessly shoves away to show you how big the moon looks tonight, the unnaturally-blue mirror that blinks back at you whenever you fix your hair right before entering his office, as giddy as ever to see him.

You're starting to get why Mammon tries to steal something every single time he visits, and that's a dangerous train of thought that you would rather avoid following.

One afternoon, out of curiosity ―you're no cat, but you should've known better―, you ask Barbatos how much is the pen you're currently holding. It's of such a bright red, and it feels cold, heavy in your hand. The deep voice coming from it whispers a trail of suggestions as you write down your grocery shopping list, getting ready for your brief visit to the human world.

Barbatos tilts his head, a bit taken aback by your inquiry but answering anyway, as willing to help as always.

“It has been in the castle for generations and its curse is excessively unique. Originally, it was worth merely thirty millions, but to decipher its current price range, a proper assessment is in need. The only answer I can provide with at the moment is that it's, well, priceless.”

Of course it is. When you laugh, it comes out more like a cry, and one look at Barbatos' politely confused expression has you laughing even louder.

In your rush to put down the pen as fast as possible, your shopping list is long forgotten.

Well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions. That exact list is what has brought you here, in the human world, on the eve of Diavolo's birthday, about to enter a three-story 24 hours grocery store accompanied by Devildom's ruler.

“Dia… Lately I've been picking up a few extra hours in Devil's kitchen, maybe I could take you to the movies for your birthday? An amusement park? We can go to a concert. A spa. Or camping.”

The inhabitants of the house of lamentation have seen you running around like crazy this last month, trying to squeeze some extra hours of work whenever you could, all with one objective in mind: spoil Diavolo on his birthday.

You forgot a tiny little detail though: to ensure that said demon is willing to being spoiled.

“I thought you needed groceries? That list was quite long”, he answers, and watching him push a shopping cart through the dairy aisle is surreal enough to have your mind reeling. He is towering over everyone and everything, wearing the human-grocery-shopping outfit you helped him pick ―black graphic tee (yours, oversized on you but fitted on him) and jeans, with a white beanie and a cozy-looking coat on top―.

“Yeah. I can go out to get groceries any other night, though. And I know you wanted to come here for your birthday, but… Is that really okay? Wouldn't you like to go, I don't know, anywhere else more fun?”

“More fun? Than this?”, and it's the genuine confusion in his voice what takes you by surprise, any further questioning getting stuck in your throat when you gaze directly into the molten gold eyes that look at you in earnest, as sincere as ever.

To disarm you further, Diavolo takes your shopping list out of his wallet and deciphers your handwriting without a problem, looking around in amazement, so regal and achingly familiar at the same time.

(Has he kept it in there all this time? It has been almost three weeks since you left it behind, and it was nothing but a crumpled piece of paper, with a couple of tea stains here and there. The careful way in which he holds it has your belly in knots)

And he looks… Excited. Relaxed and happy. And isn't that everything you could ask for and more?

Your concerns seem trivial and distant in the face of his excitement. Of course, trust Diavolo to pick a night spent with you in a grocery store over a fancy tea set, or an expensive wine ―gift options you've considered before, you admit shamefully―.

You can see him talk, gesturing with both hands, but you're too busy spacing out to really listen, feeling lightheaded with relief upon realizing that Diavolo is and will always be Diavolo around you.

By the time you manage to pay attention, Diavolo is holding a carton of milk in each hand, examining them with the wonder of a five-year-old and the solemn expression of someone that's holding something invaluable.

“So many options, and it's just milk! What's the difference? Maybe a different cow for each of them? Mh, I see.”

It's so unfair. He's just standing there, and yet your heart decides it's the perfect time to do some flip-flops.

“Ah, yes, as expected, 'Almond' is a pretty suitable name for a cow. '2%' is a little bit underwhelming as far as cows' names go, but I'm sure their milk is just as lovely as Almond's.”

You nod solemnly, without contradicting such a sound conclusion, making quick work of getting your phone out and ready.

“Could you hold the carton closer to your face? Let me take a picture of you and Almond”.

Hours later, you come out of the store with arms full of bags and your camera roll overflowing with pictures of Diavolo ―some of them you already shared to the group chat, graciously ignoring the multiple missed calls after that one picture of Dia trying to get into the shopping cart―.

The face that the cashier made when Diavolo excitedly explained he came here to celebrate his birthday was unforgettable. Almost as amusing as the one pulled by that old lady that overhear the both of you talking about “bringing Lucifer a few snacks”.

The night air feels icy-cold against your cheeks, and yet, you cannot stop smiling. Feeling your chest impossibly full, getting even more stuffy once you turn around and see an even bigger smile on Diavolo.

He comes closer and carefully places the beanie on your head, probably adjudicating your red ears, cheeks, and nose, to the cold.

“Thank you. I haven't had fun like this in years.” Voice charged with intimacy, without breaking eye contact. Your overall redness only increases once he holds your face in his hands, thumbs sliding across your cheekbones. Surely another effort to keep you warm.

“Truth to be told, today must've been the first time I've enjoyed myself this much.” He adds, with a chuckle. And you know it's true, he can't be lying, not Diavolo, and not with the way he would light up whenever people barely glanced his way; unbothered and oblivious.

With the way he's looking at you, you have to control yourself before spitting some nonsense about buying him the whole grocery store if he wants you to (you have no idea how, but you would).

You have to settle for the next best thing: raw sincerity. “First of many. We can do this again, you know? We don't have to wait for your next birthday. You have me, after all.”

An open door. And by the looks of it, Diavolo recognizes it, if the way his hand travels to take one of the bags out of your grasp, all to intertwine his fingers with yours, is any indicative.

You share a secret smile. You don't know if you can go back to shopping alone after this.

“Human world dinner on me! I'm all ears for the birthday boy, any food you'd like to try? Sushi, maybe? Steak? I know a pretty good lobster place.”

“Oh! I've heard about 24 hours fast food, and I find it fascinating. How fast is it? Do we have to chase it? I would like to try it!”

“… Dia, I'm begging you, let me buy you something that is at least six dollars.”

ao3 ― writing tag

[hatredmadeofgold]

Your fanfic pushed me to set up a trip to Prague. I'm going soon, and I'm really excited.

Hey anon! Honestly this blew my mind when I found your message in my inbox last night because I didn't expect someone to actually get so interested in travelling to Prague from just reading Sing to Me but omg I hope you're having tons of fun there!

I sat down and made you a list on google maps for all the locations mentioned in Chapter 5 and 6 together with notes where what exactly happened + some locations from the Eastern Europe Chapter of MGS4, in case you want to check these places out yourself.

I do recommend walking or taking public transport instead of a taxi or car to explore the city, Prague is extremely walkable and all these locations are within walking distance from each other. Yes, I walked to all of them when I first went back in 2021, but for someone who isn't used to walking much it might be a little more. Luckily I was in Prague as well back in March this year together with @cyborgdumptruck and took tons of photos and videos for the revisions of those chapters that I still got on my to do list and I thought I could share some with you :]

From left to right:

Náměstí Míru Metro station (Line A)

Bazilika sv. Ludmily at Náměstí Míru (Peace Square) that Sam wanted to take a photo of but Raiden didn't let him, saying that they weren't in Prague for sightseeing

Arkada Hotel, the hotel that they were staying at which is just a few hundred meters walking distance away from the square

I didn't mention the exact location of the restaurant that Sam ordered himself some dinner while Raiden just waited impatiently for him to finish eating, but I imagined it being somewhere near Staroměstské náměstí (Old Town Square) where you can also find the famous Pražský orloj (Astronomical Clock). The restaurant in that scene I made up because honestly the area is a very popular tourist spot and therefore the prices are ridiculous compared to other places in Prague where you could get something to eat. This is also why I wrote in the current version of Chapter 5 that it's a less busy street near the square and not directly at it, but it's also a point that I have on my revision list of things that will be changed about the chapter. They definitely walked through this place though, and Raiden gets annoyed at Sam wanting to take photos of the area since it's overall a nice spot with beautiful old buildings that even have hand painted walls.

Popular tourist spot aside, it's absolutely possible to get good photos and videos of the clock and the area overall and we were there during warm weather on a sunny day around Easter, so it was quite packed with people already.

Karlův most (Charles Bridge) with Pražský hrad (Prague Castle) in the background. Raiden took Sam across this bridge to show him around the Malá Strana (Lesser Town) district, but then started to heavily dissociate on their way there and began 'acting strange' in Sam's eyes.

This is, by the way, also close to the location where Liquid Ocelot massacred all the joint army-marines unit trying to stop him at the end of the Eastern Europe Chapter in MGS4, and also where EVA (Big Mama) died.

Maybe you'll get an idea now why Raiden might have dissociated so heavily when they crossed the bridge, although he wasn't present at those events... it's not because of those, but they're connected (¬‿¬)

This is Kellyxír! (Maps Link) The bar that Raiden dragged Sam into, and then got shitfaced right in front of him. I also took Sam's diary with me that I got last year to take a photo for the @mgsr-sing-to-me blog that ended up becoming a GIF instead (I love the Live Photo function of iPhones ngl). I had also ordered the same drink that Raiden had, The Breath of Uroboros, the Dragon (costs 333 Kč which would be around 14 USD). Sadly I had to crop the video because I am not comfortable sharing my face on Tumblr for now.

I have to say that in the revision of Chapter 5, I'll try to make that scene a little more elegant than it currently is.

On their way back to the hotel, Raiden nearly pukes on Sam from having absolutely overdone it with alcohol at the bar. I imagined this happening when they just reached Malostranské náměstí where they could take a tram back to Náměstí Míru to get back to the hotel.

Fun fact, when I was checking the locations that I mentioned in my fic, we coincidentally found the church in which Solid Snake (Old Snake) met EVA (Big Mama) in MGS4 and it's literally around the corner to Malostranské náměstí. And yes I am pretty sure that it was that exact church given the photos on Maps showing the insides of it. Unfortunately we didn't manage to go inside due to it only being open for visitors for an hour per day.

This is a really funny coincidence if you ask me, I was in tears when I noticed it 😂

The agreed rendezvous point with their client Tomáš Růžička in Chapter 6 is the Bazilika svatého Petra a Pavla located inside the Vyšehrad fortress. Getting up there takes a little while, especially when you're getting there from the Vyšehrad Metro Station (Line C), you'll be walking at least 20 minutes when you aren't familiar with the area 😅 But it is a really nice walk! Also there is a beer garden (Na Hrádbach) at the fortress where you can get something to eat and drink without paying tons of money. Just please take cash in CZK with you just in case, I am very unsure if they let you pay with card.

Lastly, here are some photos of Magistrát hlavního města Prahy (Prague City Hall). Sadly the building had construction work done when we went back in March, so those aren't the prettiest pictures. I will change the scene in revision of Chapter 6 where they get here because I am not really happy with it ಠ╭╮ಠ Getting to the place though helped a lot with making decisions for what exactly will be changed.

Anyway, hope you're having tons of fun in Prague and thank you so much for letting me know that you're reading my fic and got inspired to travelling there because of it. It really made my day :3

[monsieuroverlord]

Hellverine #1 2nd printing 1:25 Cassara Virgin Variant

My goodness, do I have a mini rant about this (I'll keep it under the cut if anyone wants to skip it):

It was such a pain in the ass trying to get ahold of a copy of this!

I saw it when it was first announced a little over a month ago, right?

So, I'm like okay, it'll probably be posted on my usual ordering site (no physical shops near me, but if you follow me, you know I got a pulse on the solicits. My pull list is immaculate, things are planned and preordered MONTHS in advance).

I check every day for a week. No dice. Not posted for pre-order.

After the first couple of days during this week, I'm also casually checking other comic book sites -- either already sold out or going for a minimum of $65 to $100. Ebay pre-sales are pretty similar.

So I'm like, screw that, it isn't even out yet! The official catalog price is like $9.99, I can wait.

A month goes by, I'm checking diligently every day. There are no changes.

Then I'm like, "Okay, I just have to wait until it actually comes out" and I'm sure the shops will be selling their extra incentive copies at a more reasonable price.

Tuesday night, I'm pulling out all the stops, I'm deep-diving. I'm utilizing all the secret advanced search commands I learned in college. AND I thought I found one!

It was a listing on Google shopping for $4.99, so I'm like "Jackpot" and click "buy now" so I do, and it redirects me to checkout on the website, and I think to myself "sweet!" so I buy it.

I get my order confirmation, and IN BIG BOLD LETTERS at the top, it reads:

"PLEASE NOTE YOU MUST BUY ALL INCENTIVE QUALIFIERS TO GET A INCENTIVE COPY"

(I'm paraphasing a bit, and there was a bit more after that, but you get the idea)

So, I'm thinking "what?" and I go and actually browse the site I ordered from, and I somehow stumbled upon a wholesaler store, like the kind a comic book store would use to order bulk copies for the store.

Essentially, if I was a store, I would've placed an order for 25 main 2nd printing copies, and then I would've qualified for this incentive variant.

I was quick, and sent and email request to cancel, and got my money back, no problems. (I don't have the budget to but 25 copies of one book just to get the one I want. That's the whole reason I'm not paying $100 for a copy)

So its the day of release in my timezone. Everywhere is still sold out. Slowly but surely, the Ebay resellers begin to trickle in. Its averaging about $70 to $80.

Then I see it! By sheer luck or diligence or a wild combination of both -- there's a $20 copy. But the listing says "DEFECT" in big bold letters.

Undeterred, I think "How bad can it be?" as I don't really need a flawless copy, I just like collecting my pretties, you know?

There were pictures provided, along with the description: some of the color is faded off around the lower left staple

(circled below)

That's not shininess, its actually faded white.

So I bought it. And it arrived today. Its my wonderfully imperfect copy and I'm so happy.

As of today, the lowest is like $49.99 + shipping o Ebay. All the online shops don't have it, even though it came out less than a week ago. And its still not on my usual pre-order site.

Like, I dunno if the 2nd printing didn't sell as well, or maybe there was a manufacturing delay, but good lord, I did not expect this particular variant to be such a pain to obtain.

Like, it's only a 1:25!! I dunno how many 25s were actually printed, but my goodness. I know this is such a first world problem and I recognize at least half of the drama is self-inflicted by my own hubris and dedication to also getting a good deal.

But I'm just trying to buy a little treat for myself. damn.

[saltminerising]

/736734175634358272

TLDR; Staff shouldn't keep in mind those who breed right off the bat to try and profit because that is not what game devs do, its not because I just don't think they should. If you want to gene dragons day one use the methods you can to limit the chance of using a glitched gene and take responsibility for your choice of wanting to gene a dragon day one and not push it onto staff. Items being bought with IRL currency are not somehow magically immune to ever having bugs. There is most likely QA, staff is just being held to unrealistic expectations here.

[Actual Start of The Essay, yes I know its long I'm sorry]

It shouldn't be considered by staff because staff's main concern is getting the product out. Its not simply a "I don't think staff should consider it" its "considering a population of users that profit off a byproduct of how we release things is not what we should be doing" nor should they be expected to. Staff's priority is "try and make sure we can do what we can before the breed is launched" and "try and fix everything that is broken after launch" that is just how games run. Its just what happens and they have no reason to concern themselves with it. Its not a "fuck you" its a "this is a huge update and bugs will happen." You are reading malice or intentional neglect where we have no evidence of it.

If you don’t want to wait because you want profit that is on you. That is your choice you are making to ignore the system staff has in place to keep us informed of what things are bugged because inevitably there will be stuff bugged. You can still do it, I am not saying it’s wrong nor does there being bugs mean staff is targeting you specifically, it’s just a choice you are making and you have to accept the risks. That is something you need to accept you’re responsible for, not staff, because staff is already doing their part. If you think that’s too much risk, then I suggest finding some other way to make money, if it still sounds appealing to you, here’s some ways to avoid accidentally using bugged genes (I am more so using the 'general you', not towards any specific individual, here);

Compare new genes between each pose and see if they’re all consistent with each other. Compare old gene accent colors to new gene accent colors and be suspicious if you can't find any that match up, either are too drab, or are too bright. Always be cautious of extremely dark genes (there is a reason people where immediately asking if pharaoh / sarcophagus was an error). This isn't full proof but it helps reduce the chances getting glitched genes because again, you kinda just gotta accept the chance your dragons will change.

There being items you can buy with IRL currency does not suddenly lift the veil of potential bugs. If I buy a game or DLC or whatever and there's a few bugs in it, I don't go "Oh how is there not any basic quality control in this game?!" (I mean, unless its like really bad or they're very prevalent, there is a point obviously where you can start questioning their QA) Instead, I report it. No matter how many times you say, "These are premium items, there shouldn't be any bugs!" that does not stop unintended results from happening because they are unintended, unplanned for, that slip through the cracks results. This happens no matter how much QA you have because big updates are like that (and even small ones have some wiggle through!). Yeah, they shouldn't be there, and yeah, you can be a bit annoyed, but they're going to be there. These bugs do not warrant a "there's no basic QA in this game!" to me.

Also "paywalled"? Okay trying not to be too dismissive here but....really? Skins are no more paywalled then genes and that's to say they aren't. Sure some can be pretty expensive (which is their right to be) but not all of them will be (the average / go to price is 850g...that is not much in the grand scheme of things). Flight Rising is known for being very free to play friendly (even if you can't coli, yeah, they're not as efficient but that's comparing them to The ColiTM) and tons of people make skins for new breeds.

Staff is being quick to fix new errors (as shown by the large amount of fixes on the Auraboa report thread), I think they don’t want their dragons being released with bugs as much as we do.

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #59

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 4, The Hitchhiker, sure

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are long. I think the long sideburns are the "human" reading during the minisode as a reversal compared to the present day.

The magic shop is a human space with only one human in it at the start. Although one of the zombies enters during the scene, the sideburns stay long with the "human" reading.

Crowley keeps his hat on during the entire scene. Aziraphale removes his as he enters. The shopkeeper does not wear a hat. The zombie who enters puts a hat on during the scene. I don't think hats should affect the sideburns, but I'm still taking notes. I at least think Muriel's helmet is relevant during their part of The Bigger Thresholds Trick.

Crowley and Aziraphale are shown exiting, with Crowley exiting first. However, neither is shown actually touching the door, and the door does not fully close while they are on screen.

I generally track if and when Crowley is first because I intuitively think it's supposed to matter when it comes to the Heaven elevator.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

There is no more saturated red streak of hair since Crowley keeps his hat on during this part.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The sideburns are longer. Otherwise, the hat makes things such that no other changes are visible.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

I'm not going to name the exact sets, but this scene has multiple sets that are likely chained together.

Aziraphale has a touch on his hat as he is removing it when he enters.

One of the dolls has its name visible.

From a top angle into the shop, the shopkeeper can be seen tending to and touching something within the shop.

That could be an initial set to start the scene.

The story cuts away to the zombies, then back to the inside of the shop.

Crowley has a touch on the snakes-in-a-box-container.

Aziraphale still has a touch on his hat though the nature of the touch itself has changed.

The shopkeeper asks them, "Are you familiar with it?" for a question.

Aziraphale is touching his chest.

The shopkeeper says two numbers, "two and six."

Crowley sets the container down, passing the top he used to open it from his right hand to his left.

Soon after, he touches his own jacket.

Aziraphale's still touching his hat and changing the nature of the touch.

Aziraphale touches the rings.

Crowley's touch on the counter becomes visible, showing his digits touching their reflections.

Aziraphale ends up touching more props, followed by the shopkeeper.

The shopkeeper offers the question, "What about this?" and grabs the three ropes to show a trick called, "The Professor's Nightmare." It involves three ropes of varying length, so a Rule of Three is found.

One of the zombies touches the door on entry and makes sure to touch the earthly object parts of the door, such as the push plate and a lock.

The shopkeeper says the number "two".

Aziraphale names the theater and the time, 8:30 p.m. I don't know if times count as a form of numbers.

When Aziraphale sees The Bullet Catch materials, there are three bullets, so a Rule of Three is met.

Crowley is confirmed to have moved his left hand into his pocket after remarking on The Bullet Catch.

The shopkeeper touches a case with a nightingale top to offer something that isn't The Bullet Catch to Aziraphale. He has the question, "What about this?"

Aziraphale has a question with, "How much is it?"

The shopkeeper says the number "twelve" in saying how many people died presenting the effect. He also says the number "six" for "six foot under."

Aziraphale asks again, "How much?"

Now Crowley joins in and asks, "Are you sure?"

Then he asks, "Are you sure you're sure?"

Aziraphale is sure and asks again, "How much?" That's the third time he's asked some variation of "how much," so another Rule of Three is met.

The shopkeeper, Aziraphale, and Crowley list off various numbers for the price of the trick.

Aziraphale touches the money.

Crowley asks, "You what?" at the news that Aziraphale has a firearms license.

Crowley has a question with his part that says numbers for the money.

The shopkeeper touches the box that has the instructions and asks, "Where are we?"

He brings out the paper with the instructions so is touching it. He says the number "100" when saying Aziraphale needs 100% reliable marksmen.

Aziraphale says the number "one" when asking to be excused for "one minute" and ask Crowley to help with the trick.

He has a question about Crowley firing off a lot of guns, as a demon.

Crowley has a question and the number "one" with asking that if anything goes wrong, they break the one miracle limit.

Then he has another question with neither of them wanting the paperwork.

They shake hands, which is a reciprocal touch between two supernatural beings.

Aziraphale grabs the box for the trick and his hat.

In between all of this play, the zombie who entered also touched various earthly objects in the shop. There was window interaction with the two zombies outside.

...

For paying attention to the pockets...

Crowley is implied to put his right hand in his pocket after setting aside the container that had the snakes-in-a-box and Aziraphale moves to touch the rings.

Again, Crowley is confirmed to have moved his left hand into his pocket after remarking on The Bullet Catch.

We have another "out of pocket" moment where Crowley grabs even more money out of Aziraphale's wallet to convince the shopkeeper to sell Aziraphale the trick. I still don't know what further meaning it might have beyond drawing attention to the present day money issue where people are aware money exists but not actually ever paying for anything with money.

The words, "pocket tricks" are actually used in the dialogue.

That is the closest the story gets to naming an actual Threshold Trick, and it's the one I've said is likely the most important one due to its impact on so much else in the game: The Pocket Trick.

Earlier, "earthly object" was used in singular form though I've assumed the game's name is actually Earthly Objects. Here is yet another switch. This time, a plural form of "the pocket tricks" is used for a move I've assumed is actually named, in singular form, The Pocket Trick.

...

(For reference: The Rainbow Connection Part 4: The Door Trick and The Door Catch)

I said this minisode had clues for The Door Catch, so let's look for clues about The Door Catch.

We have yet another scene where someone's shoes are definitely shown on the ground. The shopkeeper's shoes can be seen when the top angle looks down into the magic shop. I've been mentioning these parts to indicate the significance of The Door Catch's special Ground Zero cut.

The main big Clue for The Door Catch is of course is that this part is where The Bullet Catch trick is initially found and named. It is the inspiration for the name of The Door Catch and many of the ideas at play.

Now then...the following is for any of you who might be quietly playing on your own while reading my posts. These are notes. I have no explanation and no theory, but I've played this game enough to pass the information along. I hope somebody out there can figure it out, and please let me know if you do. I can't do it and have been stuck on this thing for months.

During The Door Catch, Aziraphale enters with his back to the camera. The Metatron's face is reflected in the window panes of both doors at the start of the cut.

As the cut progresses with Aziraphale entering further, the Metatron's face disappears from the window to the camera's right, which is the window closest to the Metatron.

His face ends up on only the window closest to Aziraphale. In particular, it's by Aziraphale's head, where Aziraphale's ear is though I can't tell if Aziraphale's ear is visible.

This reflection of the Metatron is caught visually between the door frame and Aziraphale with the one of the bars of the grid windows over the Metatron's nostrils.

The name of the Trick is The Door Catch, and a reflection is caught on the window pane of a door, so something is supposed to be important here about that. That is the "catch," or at least a "catch," I think.

In the magic shop, Aziraphale's reflection can be found in various places, but it's most obvious while the shopkeeper shows off the trick with the ropes called The Professor's Nightmare. The shopkeeper's reflection is also most obvious during this part of the scene.

So that overall part of the scene is probably supposed to be a clue about whatever is happening with the reflection in The Door Catch, or how its significant, but I can't find better words or ideas to describe it. I think I'm missing something more. I can't find anything about why the trick is called The Professor's Nightmare, just that it came about over time through who named it and used it, and that in our timeline, such naming was after 1941. The Good Omens story in general doesn't necessarily follow our timeline or reality.

I've watched a YouTube video about how the trick is actually done.

I still got nothing.

So good luck to anyone else playing. Please tell me if you figure it out.

...

Story Commentary

Crowley's smile at the snakes-in-a-box trick is precious.

They both look quite happy when the shopkeeper shows them the rope trick.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[justactgaussian]

I worked at an amusement park for 6 years, mostly as a ride operater. It was quite a few years ago, but I feel like reminiscing, so here are a few of my favourite things customers said. Most of them happened to me, but a few are 'greatest hits' from stories shared in the break room.

Breaking news: Water is wet

"I got wet! My clothes are soaked!"

Yes, that is sort of the point, it's why this ride is full of water.

"Well there should be some kind of warning!"

Somehow, pointing out the huge sign saying YOU MAY GET SPLASHED didn't help. 

This one happened regularly.

If you get scammed by a ghost, that's on you

"I already paid!"

I'm not that stupid. You're waiting in line, I know you didn't pay yet.

"No no, I paid your colleague, just like I did earlier today"

What, the one whose shift ended 2 hours ago, when the rush died down? 

"She's still there, I swear"

Sure. Look, you're clearly too drunk for this anyway, go back to my colleague and ask for a refund.

7 ways to (not) make your child taller

No shift went by without at least one argument over children not being tall enough. I'm still surprised so many people hate basic safety regulations.

"If the height requirement is 120cm then clearly 119cm should be fine too"

Try following that logic a little further and see if you can spot the problem. 

"We've been standing in line for an hour!"

And that wasn't enough time for them to get taller. Maybe read the sign first next time. 

"His brother is tall enough, they can go in together"

A nine-year-old can not save a six-year-old from falling out of a rollercoaster.

"It's fine, I'm sure *this* will take care of it"

Bribes don't make your children taller. 

"Do you know who I am?"

Being a celebrity doesn't make your children taller.

"Just stand on tiptoes when they measure you, sweety"

First, that is the oldest trick in the book. We know, we check. Second, you're right in front of me, I can hear you.

"But they said she was tall enough just yesterday"

If she shrunk that much in a day, you should probably call a doctor.

Not how rain works

"The seats are wet"

I know, it's raining.

"Can't you dry them?"

I could, but won't. Because it's raining.

Safety precautions make me feel unsafe

"Closing down the ride for 20 minutes and then opening it up again makes people really worried. It's unacceptable!"

Okay, if we can't call a technician just to check if something out of the ordinary is a problem or not, what do you want us to do instead? Would you really feel safer if we just ignored things like that? Do you want us to close down a perfectly safe ride for the rest of the day to make you feel better? Are you paying for that?

I get that being reminded of accidents isn't fun, especially when you're in an amusement park, and I'm not telling you how to feel about it. But it won't change the saftey protocols. If it helps, you don't have to try this one, it's not mandatory.

Do I look like I own this thing?

"I can't believe you only take cash! Don't you know how much more money you could make if you accepted card?"

"This is too expensive, don't you see how much more you would earn if you lowered the price a bit?"

Actually I do. I'm paid by the hour, that means it would increase my earnings by exactly 0.

'I wasn't looking' is a terrible excuse

"How dare you yank my child's arm!"

Your dumbass child was running as fast as they could, severely overestimating the speed of the cart pulling onto the platform. It was either grab them, or stand back and watch them faceplant onto the tracks and get run over. I don't know about you, but my first priority is that no one dies here.

"I didn't see them do that!"

I sure hope not, it would be really fucked up to just wait for me to handle it if you did.

The math is too hard

I'm sorry, you and your sister can't go alone, she needs someone who's least 15 years old with her.

"I'm 15!"

Mhm, and what year were you born in?

"I uhm... in..."

Wow, I can't believe that worked in the year of our lord 2015

Music to match the mood

A couple were too busy making out to sit down, so I couldn't close the safety bar. After awkwardly waiting for a minute or two, I realised the only right move was changing the music to Careless Whisper. They got so mad. Luckily their three friends were very quick to defend me: "It's fucking hilarious, and you asked for it!"